Restoring Your Relationship With Bdsm

BDSM, which refers to sex techniques such as dominance, bondage, and sadomasochism, has become popular thanks to 50 Shades of Grey. Is it, however, beneficial to include spanking and obedience as part of your sexual experience?

“I’ve seen it absolutely resuscitate relationships,” says Dr. Stephanie Hunter Jones. She works with couples to bring the practise of BDSM into their beds. If a relationship has been destroyed, Dr. Jones believes that this therapy may help repair it.

How BDSM may affect marriages and how “vanilla” couples can start to become a bit kin

kyJones: Once you’ve committed to it, you’re just like any other married couple. They share many of the same anxieties. BDSM is a method of expressing one’s own sexuality, and I think our BDSM couples are particularly fortunate to have discovered a soul mate.

With certain cases, I assist vanilla couples in the introduction of BDSM into their relationships in an effort to salvage their marriages. The wife of a recent client was in tears as they walked through the door. She confessed that she no longer felt a kinship with her spouse and that she feared their marriage was doomed. About eleven years had passed since they had wed. Consequently, I visited with each of them separately and discovered that their relationship was characterised by a constant fight for dominance. In their relationship, he was completely controlling her. That’s why I assigned them tasks like “doming” him in the bathroom. Their marriage was salvaged as a result. They’ve also taken to living the high life.

BDSM is often prescribed to my patients when there is a fight for dominance or authority. In other cases, I use it to restore power to a partner who has had a negative sexual encounter in the past.

To put it another way, how can a couple who’s never explored BDSM before naturally incorporate it into their relationship?

There are many videos can be found on the internet. I’d have a look at them and conduct some investigating. A lot of the time, I send my clients to doms so that they may learn how to play safely from the doms themselves. To learn the ropes and other exercises you may do in your bedroom, you can meet with a dom.

Suppose a CEO pretends to be the dom (the person in authority) and a subordinate pretends to be an employee of the firm.

When it comes to BDSM, you have nothing to be concerned about. It’s a misconception that it’s painful. BDSM, on the other hand, encompasses anything from amusing role-playing to spanking to tying up and tickling your lover with a feather. Consent is required before a person may go over the top with their weight. However, you are under no obligation to. There’s nothing wrong with merely dipping your toe into the sexy waters with your partner—it will still bring a degree of sensual intensity.

What safety precautions should couples take while experimenting with BDSM?

BDSM play is always done in agreement with the other person. When I deal with couples, I help them come up with a safe word that signifies that when one of them says it, whatever is going on in their relationship must stop. Without further ado:

They’re also meant to have a pre-meeting conversation. When they’ve done it a few times, they should be able to tell each other what they can and cannot do. When they’re just getting started, they need to talk about the situation and spell out what will happen.

A BDSM trial should be discussed with one’s partner how?

Going to a sexual health professional and discussing your concerns is the best course of action I can suggest. In such case, I suggest talking to your spouse – and beginning with something modest. Tell your partner, “I’d want to try some role-playing or spanking in the bedroom.”

There are plenty of resources available outside the bedroom, and that’s something I really believe in. Sex therapists, in my opinion, are quite beneficial. 

Is there any evidence that BDSM has had a detrimental impact on your relationship?

In the classic BDSM relationship, you can’t use BDSM to harm yourself or someone else. Otherwise, I don’t see any reason not to use it.

Initially, some of my older couples find the BDSM exercises a little awkward, but when they report back to me, they find it to be a wonderful experience. They described the experience as being similar to being back in high school. They thought it was a novel and enjoyable way to spend time in the bedroom.

Try new things and challenge yourself. You and your spouse have the power to completely change your relationship.

This interview has been edited and reduced for brevity and clarity.

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