In order to enhance their enjoyment and explore new and unusual sexual fantasies, many individuals like incorporating power dynamics into the bedroom. Here are a few pointers to help you get started in your sex life as a submissive.
Dominant Sex or “Submissive Sex”: What’s the Difference?
“Sub” and “dom” are the terms used to describe two consenting adults engaged in sexual intercourse in which one plays the role of submissive partner, while the other plays a dominating partner (called “dom”).
Dominance and submission (abbreviated as Dom/sub or D/s) includes submissive sex. There are several sub-categories under the broad category of “BDSM play” that are focused on the dynamics between two consenting sexual partners. D/S is one of these sub-categories. B/D and S/M (sadomasochism) are two further subgroups within the BDSM society, which comprise bondage and discipline (B/D).
The following are six ways to be more submissive.
To be submissive, you and your partner have the freedom to choose from a broad selection of sexual encounters. Here are a few typical bedroom techniques used by D/s practitioners:
During most dominating and submissive sexual encounters, there are two major tensions at play: permission and punishment. This sort of session requires the sub to get permission from the dom before engaging in specific activities—for example, oral sex or orgasming—and if they do so, they are punished. Consider having the dom put up a few attractive rules and penalties before initiating D/s play (for example, picking the sex positions or what you’re permitted to wear).
A sort of impact play known as erotic spanking, in which the dom spanks sections of the sub’s body with their hands, a whip, paddle, or crop, for mutual sexual pleasure. If you’re having sex, you may use spanking as a kind of foreplay or as a kinky punishment. Endorphins and dopamine are released in the brain as a result of an erotic spanking, which increases blood flow to the groyne region and enhances sexual pleasure. In a D/s relationship, using a certain language in the bedroom is an important aspect of submissive conduct. Using “sir” or “madam” to address your spouse shows that they’re in charge, and you may do the same as a subordinate. For those who are new to D/s play, it may be helpful to provide recommendations deferentially—for example, proposing what you will do for them or how they might punish you for poor conduct.
You may employ roleplaying situations to assist get the D/s scenario started since they provide simple roles for everyone to assume and help alleviate any stage anxiety that you might be experiencing. Roleplay settings with a built-in power dynamic, such boss and employee, teacher and student, or doctor & patient, are a good place to start.
There are often clothes or apparel that you may employ during a scenario in D/s. There are many other types of costumes used by doms and subs, such as leather suits and suits, as well as roleplay-based costumes such as maid uniforms. For couples, dressing up as characters might help them better immerse themselves in their roles and discover new aspects of themselves.
In bondage, one person utilises instruments to confine the other during a sexual session, often including the sub. Rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains are among the most often used restraints. They are meant to keep the dom in control and increase mutual sexual satisfaction by restricting a sub’s senses or freedom of movement.
Sex Tips for the Submissive
Tips to help you get started with submissive sex with your spouse if you’re new to the concept.
Prior to submitting, talk to your spouse about it. Your partner should know what they can and can’t do before engaging in good submissive/dominant play. Discuss your desire to explore being submissive during sex with your spouse, and find out whether they are receptive to the idea. A person shouldn’t be made to feel as if they have no option but to play a certain role (whether submissive or dominating). Observe your partner’s interest in submissive sex by viewing some light sub/dom erotica with them to see if they’re intrigued.
Choose a safe term together (or two). The foundations of submission and domination are built on a foundation of mutual respect and trust. This is why it’s important to have at least one safe word with your partner so that you can discern between lighthearted banter and genuine requests to slow down or terminate the experience entirely during a given session. There should be a universally understood safe phrase that can be used by both the subordinate and the dominant party to indicate that a line has been crossed and that a break is necessary. Choose two safe words: one for an immediate halt in action, and the other to indicate that you’re approaching a boundary and should ease off or redirect the session.
Try something new. The idea that a man and a woman in a D/s relationship must have a dominating and a submissive dynamic is just one example of the various stereotypes surrounding D/s relationships that have developed over time. The role of dom or sub may be played by anybody, regardless of their gender identification, personality, or sexual inclination. Take the time to explore and see what works best for you.
Get in touch with your wild side. A sub is often thought of as someone who is submissive to a dominating party’s orders, however this isn’t the only way subs and doms may engage for their own benefit. Subs who are rebellious, playful, or otherwise unruly during sessions are known as “bratty subs” in the BDSM world. Experiment and experience how it feels to defy some of your dom’s orders for a little additional punishment or to put you back in your place. Make sure your partner is having fun and is at ease with the new dynamic following a bratty session.
Consider taking on the position of the other person. The fact that you’re interested in submitting doesn’t mean you can’t engage in dominance. People (known as “switches”) who prefer to switch from one position to the other in a relationship or even in one interaction are known as “switchers.” During your next session, bring this up with your partner and see if you may switch roles. The importance of follow-up is not to be underestimated. Due to the increased physical and emotional demands of many D/s sessions compared to a regular sexual encounter, both partners must practise appropriate self-care afterward. Check in with your partner after your session to see how they felt about it all (likes, dislikes, areas for improvement). A fantastic method to help everyone wind down and absorb the session is to cuddle and clean up together. This promotes a feeling of tranquilly, physical health, and mental health.