The Most Effective Bdsm Sexual Positions, From The Simple To The Complex

Your spouse begins spanking you in the midst of a sex session. One option is for them to grasp your wrists with one hand while the other holds them aloft in the air. You may even drape a scarf over their eyes and tell them to stay motionless while you plan your next move. All kinds of BDSM—bondage, dominance/discipline, sadism and masochism—are acceptable as long as you and your partner agree.

When it comes to understanding the concept of BDSM, there are many misconceptions, according to Jess O’Reilly, PhD, the presenter of the @SexWithDrJes podcast and sex and relationship educator. This is because of the Fifty Shades of Grey series. It’s more about mutual pleasure and/or suffering exchange than it is a kinky and shady sex technique. If you place one person in the position of authority while the other person is in the position of subservience, it might be exciting.

Without orgasms, oral

In this position, you and your partner begin by going down on each other and building toward a huge O…then dialling things back to avoid a real climax. “Edging,” also known as orgasm-inducing, is an orgasm-denying BDSM sexual act that requires no sexual equipment or accessories. Founder and certified sex educator of Passion by Kait, Kait Scalisi, MPH, speaks with Health about her work.

What to do: If you like having oral from behind, lie on your back or belly and let them to descend on you. Accept their control of your pleasure and appreciate it as they lead you to the brink of climax. When it comes time to let go, try to hold out as long as possible.

Psychedelic spooning

Dr. Jess describes “sensation play” as a technique to “arouse the brain and body in new ways” by playing with varied textures, temperatures, scents, noises, sights, tastes, and wetness levels. In terms of props and toys, O’Reilly says you may use “anything from fur and feathers to silk, satin and cotton balls to leather, hot wax, water and ice cubes”. Depending on your preference, you may either use these new feelings to exert sexual dominance over your spouse, or you can allow yourself to be controlled by your partner and enjoy the pleasure these sensations provide for you both.

Lie on your side in the spoon position—so you won’t see your partner but they can view your front and back, depending on where they intend on tormenting you—after discussing props you’re both happy with and bringing them into the bedroom. Wait for the sensations to arrive and appreciate them. Feeling shivery and exhilarated, no matter what it is, is a natural reaction to the sensations. Finally, surprise your lover with a completely other experience and revel in being in control of their enjoyment.

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